Larry was in a panic. He could not find his diary. Although he found the
need to use it less often since his relationship with Aiden and Spyke began, he
occasionally found solace in putting his thoughts on paper. The small notebook
contained his own very private feelings of the past and present, and he was
mortified to think of anyone else reading them.
He tried desperately to remember the last time he had written in it. He
knew he had penned in his and Aiden’s first time making love, but that was a
while ago.
“Damn, where the hell did I put it?” he mumbled to himself. In his haste
to find his missing property he had completely ransacked not only his, Aiden
and Spyke’s sleeping areas, but also Walker, Thad and Jordan’s. Bedding was in
piles around the tent and what little they had in the way of make-do furniture
had been overturned.
As he shook out his pillow and blankets for what seemed like the
hundredth time, it suddenly hit him. He had taken his diary to the fireside
chat last evening and after writing a few lines, had put it down to join in the
conversation taking place at the time. He had dropped off to sleep and barely
remembered Aiden half walking, half carrying him back to their tent. His diary
had been left behind.
Hoping the notebook had not fallen into the wrong hands, Larry rushed
out of the tent and over to the fire pit. He completely forgot about the mess
he’d made..
Out of breath, Larry reached his destination only to find his precious
diary was nowhere to be found. Now real panic set in and began to make its
presence felt in the pit of his stomach as he felt his breakfast threatening to
make its way up his throat.
“Okay, Marine,” Larry admonished himself. “Calm down and think! Who was
sitting next to you?” Letting his mind wander back to last night, he thought of
where everyone had been seated.
“Galen! It was Galen and Thomas!” Larry excitedly exclaimed and he set
out to locate the young man, fervently hoping that Galen had discovered the
notebook and was keeping it safe until its owner claimed it. He knew he would
be showing up for work later than he usually did but being as Aiden was often cautioning
him to slow down and take things easy, Larry didn’t think this one time
occurrence would cause much of a problem.
Galen counted off on his fingers the chores that had been completed so
far this morning. The pigs and chickens had been fed, the eggs collected and
delivered to the kitchen, the goats milked and the buckets cooling, and the sheep
were grazing peacefully in their fenced-in area.
He stood and watched his friends head out to the construction site to
join their partners. He was glad Spyke and Raythe were happy in their newly
formed relationships, but it meant that the young man spent more and more time
alone.
Galen’s friends rarely asked him to accompany them anymore as he was not
allowed to wander from the encampment. He could not go further than the
shoreline unless accompanied by his mentor, who at the moment was doing his morning
inspection of the fields and would then be joining the majority of the men
working on the new lodge before returning to camp for the noon meal.
Galen had not even seen the progress being made at the building site
since the day after Aiden had announced that the last of the trees had been
felled and construction would soon be underway. That had been over two weeks
ago.
Feeling a cool, wet nose nudging his hand, Galen looked down and smiled
at one of the two large golden retrievers. “Hello, Juliette. You and Romeo here
to keep m-me company? W-wanna go splash in the ocean?”
Galen spotted Brodie, Yancey, Seth and Wes doing the laundry. He would
have offered to help, but not wanting to incur Seth’s wrath, gave them a wide
berth instead. Even though Yancey was giving them a hand, Galen knew his
antagonist would still manage a derogatory comment or two.
Next, he stopped by the mess tent to see if anyone was around only to
discover Walker and Jordan had already left to deliver
the mid-morning snack to the crew at the work site. Thad was occupied and
didn’t need any assistance. He also didn’t have time to stop and talk.
Galen was surprised to see Kelby sitting forlornly at one of the long
tables instead of off somewhere with Quentin. He wondered not for the first
time if something was wrong. Kelby had been very distant the last few days, so
Galen chose not to disturb the man’s reading.
“Get those dogs out of the mess hall, Galen,” Thad patiently reminded
the younger man as he turned back to concentrate on what he was doing when
interrupted.
Galen whistled and obediently left the tent, his faithful companions
trailing on his heels. “Good thing I’m used to entertaining m-myself, eh guys;
‘cause everyone else is so b-busy. At least, there’ll be classes this afternoon.”
Arriving at the beach, Galen undid his overalls, let them fall to the
ground and merrily stepped out of the only article of clothing he wore. He knew
he had the area to himself and loved the freedom of running naked along the
sandy shore. The young man was as brown as a berry from head to toe.
It was here Larry ended his quest when he came upon Galen frolicking
with Walker’s championship dogs in the puddles left behind by the outgoing tide.
The small pools of water had been warmed by the summer sun. He was unperturbed by the young man’s state of undress having seen him like this in the past.
“Yes, I found it,” Galen responded to Larry’s concerned inquiry. “I put
it in a safe p-place for you and I never even opened it. I know how p-personal
it m-must be.”
Upon learning that his notebook was in safekeeping under Galen’s pillow,
he thanked Galen and contentedly made his way to the construction site without
giving a second thought to the clutter he had left behind in his sleeping
quarters.
Wes and Seth were huddled together. They were hanging up the last
of the washed clothes and chatting amiably away when Wes began whispering
something into Seth’s ear. Seth stopped what he was doing immediately and
listened intently, his mouth slowly gaping open. Both were so engrossed in
their exchange; they were totally unaware of Wayne’s scrutiny.
The older twin had come in from the fields to deliver wild mushrooms
which Thomas had found by the woods, to the kitchen team. He was on his way
back to the fields when he caught sight of his twin and Seth. He glanced
over at them and narrowed his eyes suspiciously. Sidling closer, he
strained to listen to the conversation.
“No! I don’t believe you!” exclaimed Seth, his voice low.
Wes smiled secretly at his friend and shook his head slyly. “I tell you, it’s true! When he first told me, I could not believe it either. But he has since proven to me that it is true.”
“Well I’m just gonna have to see if Preston
is up to it,” Seth ardently declared.
“But Nathan warned me not to tell anyone,” Wes said with a giggle. “So
don’t you breathe a word of this to a single soul! I’m telling you in strict
confidence.”
Seth placed his hand over his heart dramatically. “Honour of a gentleman. I will carry this secret to my grave!”
Wes grinned and knocked Seth’s hand from his chest. “Idiot! You ain’t no gentleman and …”
Both men looked up in surprise as a smouldering Wayne pushed his way in between them. Putting his face close to Wes’, he snarled, “I trusted you!”
Wes blinked at his twin in surprise. “Wayne? What’s wrong?”
Wayne ignored him and swung around to face Seth. “Dare to repeat this and I will kill you both.”
“What the hell has gotten into you?” Seth’s response was one of bewilderment.
“Get lost! I want to talk to my brother!”
“You are acting kinda crazy, so maybe I better not leave the two of you alone.” Seth was rather concerned.
Wayne snarled. “Didn’t you hear me? I said to get lost!”
“Calm down, Wayne. What’s the matter with you?” Wes asked irritably before turning to Seth. “It’s okay, Seth. Let me talk to Wayne. We’re finished here so I’ll catch up with you later. And don’t forget, not a word.”
Wayne growled angrily. “Yeah, you better keep your mouth shut if you know what’s good for you!”
“Whatever you want, Wes.” Seth threw a disparaging glare in Wayne’s direction and walked away carrying two empty laundry baskets.
Grasping Wes’ arm in a death grip, Wayne pulled him along until they were at the side of the outhouses, hidden from view of anyone who might be around. It was mid-morning and most of the group was at their respective jobs, so the place was deserted.
Wes shook Wayne’s hand off and glared at him. “What the fuck is the matter with you?”
Wayne shook with fury. “You swore to me you wouldn’t tell anyone. It was my secret and I trusted you! Didn’t I make that clear?”
“What secret?” Wes asked, perplexed.
“You traitor! I told you never to repeat what I said to you.”
Wes paused for a moment and then his brow cleared. “Ass-hole!” he snapped. “You think I would just go round telling everyone my brother got raped? Is that how much you think of me?”
Wayne let out a ragged breath. “Seth has a big mouth!”
“Oh, for Christ sake, I didn’t tell Seth anything!”
“What did you say to Seth then?”
“None of your bloody business!”
Wayne moved closed. “To hell with your bloody business! You better tell me before I clobber you!”
“Oh yeah? You think I won’t take you on? Come on then.”
Both boys began to move in as they heard a rattling and the door of the outhouse closest to them suddenly swung open. They looked up speechless as Samuel loomed over them, his face grim. Wayne’s face drained of colour as he stared at his partner.
“I wouldn’t even think of it if I were you,” Samuel said coldly, his eyes sweeping over the twins. “What do you think you are doing? Hasn’t the council made it clear that there will be no fighting? Haven’t Nathan and I made it clear as well?”
Wes stepped back but Wayne was immobilised. He just stared silently at Samuel, his chest heaving. Thoughts chased one another through his head. Samuel must have overheard their conversation and he didn’t look very happy about it. Desperately, Wayne tried to remember what he and Wes had said and how much had been revealed. He felt sick with apprehension as the one man above all others from whom he wanted to keep the secret, was the one who had been in the outhouse. More than anything, Wayne wanted to fling himself into Samuel’s arms and seek comfort there, but he was too afraid to even move.
Samuel took in the situation at a glance and turned to Wes. “Wesley, Wayne and I need to talk. Please go and give
us some privacy,” Samuel ordered firmly as he glanced back at his
distressed-looking partner.
“No!” Wes said, boldly standing up to the imposing Samuel. “I’m staying!”
Samuel quirked an eyebrow at the young man and walked over to him. “I
told you to go, Wesley. When I say something, I expect to be obeyed. Now go!” he
said a bit more forcefully as he turned Wes back towards camp and sent him on
his way with a firm swat.
Samuel
watched Wes storm off and then turned to look at Wayne. It hurt him to see how distraught
the young man looked. With an effort, he forced himself to stay calm, but his voice
came out harsher than he intended.
“Wayne, I think it’s time we talked.” Samuel
stepped forward and put a hand on Wayne’s arm.
Wayne clenched his teeth at the way Samuel sounded.
At Samuel’s touch, he jerked away as if it burned him.
“Don’t touch me," he growled in a low warning
tone.
Samuel looked back at Wayne, his grip staying the
same but his voice lightening slightly as he realised he must have sounded
angry before. Keeping his tone low and gentle, he used the only endearment he’d
ever spoken to Wayne. “We really need to talk about this, my pet.”
Wayne’s eyes filled with tears as he looked away.
“No, we don’t! Let me go! I don’t want to talk about it. I want to be alone,” his
voice broke.
Seeing Wayne’s anguish, Samuel found it easy to
push all else aside with the exception of his tormented lover’s comfort. “I
can’t do that, Wayne. I can’t leave you alone, not at this time. This is
something we need to talk about especially if someone here has...” Samuel
paused as anger began to consume him again.
“You weren’t supposed to hear!” Wayne’s voice was
anguished.
“Just when was I supposed to hear, Wayne? When
someone else you’ve confided in decides to tell me? Or when some other young
man falls prey to the monster that did this to you?” Samuel pressed on as his
eyes filled with a deep sorrow.
“You were to never find out!” Wayne cried as he
pulled away from Samuel. Within seconds he was running into the woods, crashing
wildly through the undergrowth. He fled, paying no mind to the branches
whipping at him and his clothes.
The minute Wayne raced off; Samuel was after him. Wayne
was fast, but the older man was faster and caught up with his young lover as
they came out into a clearing. He quickly grabbed Wayne from behind and wrapped
his arms tightly around him.
“Wayne, stop!” Samuel softly pleaded. He held his
struggling lover as he kept murmuring into Wayne’s ears. “Stop, please. Don’t
run from me, please…please …”
As the sun filtered through the leaves onto the
clearing, a feeling of surreal calm settled over the two men, caught so tightly
in an unnatural embrace. Spring was long gone; the earth smelled warm and the
air was thick with the scents of the woods. The shudders eased from Wayne’s
shoulders and Samuel relaxed his hold as he got himself under control.
“Come on, my pet. Like I said before, we need to
talk.” Samuel buried his face into Wayne’s neck and that was the breaking point
for the young man. That Samuel would still hold him and touch him so tenderly;
that Samuel would still want him.
With a great cry of pain, Wayne turned around and
flung his arms around his lover’s neck. He sobbed as Samuel swept him off his
feet and carried him over to a tree stump. As Samuel lowered them both and
settled the young man on his lap, Wayne suddenly looked up and whispered. “It
wasn’t my fault. I didn’t ask for it. Please believe me.”
Samuel grew puzzled for a moment before realising
what Wayne must be thinking. “No, love; hush, baby. I told you we needed to
talk. That’s all. No one is blaming you. Just tell me, please.”
“It happened a long time
ago,” Wayne mumbled quietly.
Samuel caught his breath. “It
didn’t happen here? It wasn’t someone here who …” he trailed off.
Wayne shook his head and
looked away, feeling shame and revulsion sweep over him. “No! No, oh God, it
was before we came here!”
Samuel closed his eyes and
said a silent prayer of thanks. If it had been anyone on the island who had
violated his partner in such a way, he would have killed him with his bare
hands. Feeling the shudders running through Wayne’s body, he turned his
attention back to the matter that concerned him most. “Tell me what happened. I
just want to know. I am not angry, and I promise I will not judge you, but I
need to know.”
Wayne stared into the dark
eyes watching him so intently and decided he had hidden from it long enough. He
had let it shadow him, making him feel guilty, tarnished and afraid. Even if he
wanted to keep it secret, he no longer could. It was time to face it all with Samuel,
who had a right to know. Haltingly in a colourless voice, he recounted the
incident, bracing himself against Samuel’s reaction.
Samuel sat very still as he
hugged his shuddering partner closer. “Oh, my poor love,” he crooned, despite
his own heartache. “I’m so sorry for what happened. I can only imagine how you
must have felt.” He planted a soft kiss on Wayne’s head. “No one should be hurt
like that!” He gritted his teeth, choking down his anger at the unidentified
perpetrator of this crime.
Wayne stole a look at his
partner’s face. “I didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want you to think I was damaged.
I didn’t want your pity!”
Samuel briefly closed his
eyes, wanting to choose his next words carefully. “I don’t deny I am angry at
this man who could do such a heinous thing, and I am disappointed that you
didn’t think I needed to know, but I am not angry at you nor do I think of you
differently or love you less. I certainly do not pity you and certainly do not
consider you damaged. I feel very sorry for what happened but that’s not pity.
Do you understand?”
Wayne nodded his head, not
sure of his voice.
Samuel tilted Wayne’s head
and leaned in to press his lips to Wayne’s. “You listen to me, my pet. I love
you. I assure you right here and now that this atrocity will never ever happen
to you again. You have my word.” Samuel vowed to himself right there and then
that he would never push Wayne into doing anything the young man was not
comfortable with.
Wayne’s lips quivered but he
managed a watery smile. Stealing another glance up, his apprehension turned to
relief as he looked into Samuel’s eyes. In their depths, he saw sympathy,
understanding and love; no recrimination, no reproach and most important of
all, no disgust. The burden he had been carrying for so long was suddenly
lifted off his shoulders.
Slowly their fingers met; one
set curling into the other, snug and fitting. Like always, Wayne sat in the
circle of Samuel’s arms and leaned back against the massive chest. Neither
spoke as Samuel ran his thumb over his partner’s palm in a slow hypnotic
circle. They quietly spent the rest of the morning here, finding no need for
words.
Wes was a bit stunned at
being swatted by someone other than his partner. With a throat that had
suddenly gone tight, he quietly and instinctively went in search of Nathan. He
wasn’t planning to tell Nathan, he just needed to be with him. In fact, he was
afraid to tell Nathan in case he got in further trouble
Nathan looked up from the new
design he was drawing and smiled. “Now to what do I owe this pleasant surprise,
Minx? Have you finished the laundry already?”
“Yes,” Wes responded in a
small voice. He began picking at a garment lying on the cutting table.
Putting down the sketch pad
and pencil, Nathan held out his arms invitingly. “Come here, love?” he gently
requested.
Wes trudged over and allowed
Nathan to pull him in between his thighs. He chewed on his lower lip and stared
at Nathan’s tanned throat.
“You seem unusually quiet.”
Nathan observed the younger man’s face for signs of distress. “Has something
happened to upset you?” He tugged until Wes was firmly nestled on his lap and
soothingly rubbed his chin over Wes’ short, black hair.
Wes shrugged, feeling suddenly
wary. He had sort of challenged Samuel earlier and he wasn’t at all sure how
Nathan would take it. Nathan may be usually easy-going, but he didn’t tolerate
disrespect. Wes didn’t want the older man to be angry with him.
“There nothing we cannot
talk over, Minx, or take care of together, right?” Nathan’s soft voice offered
encouragement.
Wes lowered his face and
buried it into Nathan’s shoulder. “Nothing happened.”
“Hmm, you wouldn’t be trying
to hide something from me, would you?” Nathan didn’t pull up Wes’ head to look
in his eyes. He wanted his partner to talk freely, not feel intimidated.
Wes stayed motionless for a
while before peeling himself away.
“Nathan....?”
“Yes, love?”
“You remember how mad Brock
was with Troy
for punishing Raythe?”
“I do, and I also remember us
talking about it that evening. Why? Do you have further questions?”
Wes tried unsuccessfully to
take the pique out of his voice. “You don’t seem to mind or care if I get ...
um ... if someone ...”
“I would care very much if
someone physically disciplined you, Wesley.” Nathan frowned as an unpleasant
thought came into his head. “Has someone done so, Minx?”
Wes dipped his head further,
his face obviously unhappy. Biting his lip tightly, he nodded his head once.
Nathan took in a deep breath
in order to remain calm. “Who did what, Minx, and why?”
Wes’ spirit perked up at
hearing the grim tone in Nathan’s voice. He opened his mouth to pour out his
grievance, then abruptly closed it again as he deliberated over what to say.
“It was Samuel,” he finally murmured.
“And just why would Samuel
feel a need to chastise you? And what exactly did Samuel do to make you feel
you had been punished?” Nathan patiently questioned, wanting to hear the whole
story before making any further comments.
Wes began to fidget but
Nathan’s hand stilled his restlessness. “He swatted me! Is he allowed to do
that? I thought the council already decided no one can be punished unless it’s
by his own partner?”
“Or possibly with his
partner’s consent?” Nathan bit back a smile. He understood Wes’ anxiety and
decided now was as good a time as any to explain the agreement he and Samuel
had reached in order to keep their young partners safe in this as yet unknown
place.
“You think this is funny?”
Wes fumed, pouting and thinking to himself. ‘Isn’t the man the least bit
concerned about me?’
Nathan tapped the jutting
lip. “I am not laughing at you, Minx. I am relieved that nothing more
serious took place. But, since we are on the subject, you and I need to talk
over a rather important issue. One that Samuel and I have discussed and given a
lot of thought to.”
Wes looked up nervously. “I
didn’t do anything!” he protested, his voice rising a little in panic. Serious
discussions with Nathan never ended well.
“Hey, hey, hey; there is
nothing to get worked up over; at least not yet." Nathan teased and
tightened his hold on his skittish young partner. “Now, first tell me why Samuel
swatted you. I would really like to hear your version of events before Samuel
comes to me with his.”
“I don’t know why ...” Wes
began loftily, then stopped when he saw the older man’s raised eyebrow and
continued in a more subdued tone. “He wanted to talk to Wayne in private and
asked me to leave, but I refused. Besides, Wayne didn’t want to talk to Samuel
alone and ...” he stopped again as Nathan held up a hand.
“If, young man, you are
telling me you sassed Samuel and got swatted for it, then the case is closed.”
Nathan’s voice was firm, but his eyes twinkled at the glare he received.
Wes began to scramble off
Nathan’s lap. “In that case, I see no reason ...”
“Oh no, you don’t!” Nathan
insisted, refusing to release his hold on his partner. He turned serious and
patiently repeated his earlier suggestion. “We really do have something else to
talk over, Minx. It is important and I’d appreciate you giving it your full
attention.”
“Let me go!” Wes twisted and
got a sharp slap on the side of his thigh for his efforts. “Ow!” he cried out
indignantly.
“Settle down and listen to
me, please.” Nathan lightly ran his fingers over his own hand-print.
Grudgingly, Wes slumped
against the solid body. “What?” he demanded ungraciously.
Nathan rolled his eyes and
looked heavenward. Taking a deep breath, he plunged ahead. “We find ourselves
living in a rather precarious situation, Wesley. As we continue to learn about
this island, the number of uncertainties increases almost daily. It is with
this in mind that Samuel and I have promised one other to watch over each
other’s partner and to do everything in our power to keep him safe.”
Wes cocked his head to one
side. “Huh?”
Suppressing a sigh, Nathan
continued. “Should the time ever come that for some reason Samuel, or I
become unavailable, you and your brother will still have someone to depend on.
Neither of you will have to go it on your own. More to the point, all the rules
we presently govern our relationship by, will be maintained. Do you understand
what I am saying?”
Wes’ fingers curled around
Nathan’s shirt and held on tightly. He swallowed, suddenly serious. “What are
you saying, Nathan? Where are you going?” He wasn’t even listening to Nathan.
Panic had set in at the thought of losing Nathan in this place. The older man
had become his one rock of stability.
“I am not going anywhere, my
love. I am merely preparing for the unexpected.” Realising the need to set Wes’
mind at ease, Nathan continued in a slow, quiet voice. “Say for example, Samuel
had to go out with some of the other men on a hunting trip, I would be here to
help Wayne should he require assistance.” Nathan paused to see what effect his
words were having.
Wes watched his face
searchingly, trying to determine if Nathan was hiding anything from him. “Help
how?” His eyes widened as an unwelcome thought entered his head. “Would he be
sleeping with us?” Wes wasn’t exactly sure he liked that image.
“Not with us exactly, but he
does share our tent,” Nathan smiled reassuringly. “I have promised Samuel I
would look out for Wayne and see to it that your brother is not only kept safe,
but that he also behaves in the same manner as he would when Samuel is nearby. Samuel
has made the same promise to me.”
Wes recoiled from this new information;
his face paler than usual. When he spoke, his voice shook with passion as he
absorbed the gist of Nathan’s words. “I don’t want you to…to physically touch Wayne
like that! And I certainly don’t want Samuel to touch me in any way!”
“Wesley,” Nathan hastened to clarify. “I think you misunderstand, love! I didn’t mean anything more than .....that is, I am simply talking about correction of destructive behaviour, not ...”
Wes shook his head fiercely. “I know exactly what you mean.”
“Then why would you feel that
way, Minx? I would never do anything to harm your brother and Samuel would
never harm you.”
“But I don’t want you to spank
Wayne!” Wes said plaintively. “How do you mean to ... to ...?”
Nathan suddenly understood
Wes’ trepidation. “How would I spank him? Well, it would be done out
of concern and only if the infraction was life-threatening. I know it
would not be the same as it is between partners and lovers. I have no intention
of baring Wayne’s backside and I trust Samuel to treat you and our very special
relationship with the same respect.” The older man’s voice rang with
conviction.
Wes immediately subsided,
awed by Nathan’s demeanour. “You made Samuel promise he won’t punish me?”
“I made him promise never to
punish you using anything other than his hand. But then why would he when he
only uses his hand to punish your brother.”
“You won’t let Samuel spank
me bare either, will you?”
“No, it is much too personal,
and I’ve also made my stand regarding this known to Samuel, thereby ensuring it
never happens.” Nathan understood how hard it was for his partner to accept the
idea of being chastised by someone other than himself, but he needed to know
that Wes would be cared for in his absence.
“Why does he have to punish
me at all?” Wes mumbled unhappily to himself. He suddenly looked up. “He can
report me to you if he is dissatisfied with my behaviour. And you could do the
same with Wayne. Isn’t that better?”
“I agree that would be
better, but I also know there are times when you and your brother give us no
choice but to take immediate action. Do you not think this is so?”
Wes shrugged his shoulders
eloquently. “Maybe,” he begrudgingly admitted, with a guilty glance in Nathan’s
direction. “We don’t mean to get in trouble; we just do sometimes. I promise I
won’t do anything to earn punishment when you are not around, Nathan.”
Nathan laughed at Wes’
expression, a mix between earnestness and hope. “Now that sounds like a
plan to me,” he concurred. “Stay out of trouble and avoid unpleasant
consequences.” He planted a tender kiss on the end of Wes’ nose. “How about
promising that when I am around as well, hmm?”
“I’m always good when you are around, aren’t I?” Wes batted his lashes.
“I’m always good when you are around, aren’t I?” Wes batted his lashes.
“As good as you’re able to
be,” Nathan teased, hugging Wes tightly. “And getting better all the time,” he
murmured in his love’s ear. He laughed when their stomachs simultaneously
complained of being empty. “Let’s go get a cup of coffee and maybe we’ll get a
sneak preview of what Walker
and his boys are serving up for dinner, shall we?”
Getting a nod of agreement,
Nathan took Wes’ hand and together they strolled amicably over to the mess hall.
TBC….
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